Photo by Nick Cammett/Getty Images
Deshaun Watson is the new Carson Wentz, and it’s bad news for Cleveland.
There was a time Deshaun Watson was a promising quarterback. It wasn’t that long ago either. The bright-eyed, 24-year-old quarterback who ascended firmly into the realm of elite at the close of the 2020 season is now gone. The spark extinguished, the magic unresponsive — now replaced by a sad, hollow, has-been, single-handedly shutting his team’s own window with every snap he takes.
Watson is failing so spectacularly in Cleveland that it boggles the mind. The most precipitous fall-off since Carson Wentz, this plummet is made even worse with the reality that the Browns have hitched every hope and dream to the Deshaun Watson bandwagon.
A late-slate game against the Cowboys isn’t exactly a “gimme,” but it’s the kind of game that Watson and the Browns should be competitive in to lay any claim on being a contender this season. The issue is that Watson isn’t just bad at one thing, he’s bad at everything right now.
45 pass attempts for 169 yards (3.8 YPA): Watson can’t move the ball efficiently
53.3 percent passing: Watson can’t throw accurately
Longest pass of 29 yards: Watson can’t stretch the field
Two interceptions and a fumble: Watson can’t take care of the ball
It’s impossible to make a cogent argument for Watson to remain the Browns’ starting QB outside of “they’re paying him too much.” This is quite literally the last and only justification remaining for playing Watson over making a switch to Jameis Winston. What makes this so much more frustrating for Browns fans is how little Cleveland needs to be a competitive team. Hell, this same organization that went 4-1 in 2023 with Joe Flacco at the helm, because Flacco understood that the bare minimum was all this team required. If they have someone who can be efficient with the football, not turn it over too much, and make just a few key plays a game they’ll win enough to become a force.
Watson understands none of this. He’s playing football like a guy more concerned with boosting his own stats and justifying his paycheck than trying to win football games. Browns fans are forced to watch on as Baker Mayfield lights things up for the Buccaneers, winning games and putting up numbers, while Watson is poised to be the highest paid quarterback in the NFL over the next two seasons, playing like total ass, and consistently able to justify his own horrific play by an organization embracing their mutually-assured destruction.
At no point against Dallas did Watson look like a capable NFL quarterback. He missed open passes to receivers in stride, couldn’t accurately complete a pass more than six yards downfield, and routinely failed to identify the pass rush coming at him. No adjustments at the line of scrimmage, no plays that solidified him as someone who could make a defense pay. The team’s lone offensive touchdown drive showed that all Watson can do at this point is find open receivers on busted coverage.
At least CeeDee Lamb caught a deep pass from him.
It’s early, 0-1 isn’t a disaster (especially losing to the Cowboys), and yet this all feels so inevitable for Cleveland. They are locked in a nightmare of their own creation, and have no way of waking up from it.
The Browns don’t want to admit they made the biggest mistake in NFL history. Watson refuses to believe he’s the league’s biggest mistake — and so they’ll roll on. Losing games, looking out-matched, until they find another mysterious injury to justify Watson’s poor play, and he’ll be on the shelf for a while, watching while another quarterback makes this team competitive.
For three straight years the Browns organization has bent over backwards to explain away why Watson sucks at football now. They’ve revamped every part of their offense to make it more friendly to their overpaid loser of a quarterback. It’s one thing to have belief in a player, but enough to enable a bad quarterback to such an extent while watching everything else swirl down the drain.
None of this is fun. It’s a damn shame. There was something so cool about seeing Cleveland finally become a good team after decades of mediocrity, and knowing they were just a quarterback away made them one of the most compelling teams in the NFL. Not only did the Browns manage to throw that all away, but throw it away on one of the most unlikeable, reprehensible, horrible men currently in the National Football League. Owner Jimmy Haslem sold the sliver of a soul he had left to ignore Watson’s horrific off-field issues because he was hellbent on this idea that Watson would be the answer.
Call it karma. Call is cosmic justice. Another way to look at this is simply another chapter in the Browns’ horrible story. A chapter that will take another three years to finish reading.
Winner: The Sam Darnold experience
One simply can’t hear about how Sam Darnold plays — you have to experience it, man. It’s now time for the Vikings to ride the Darnold rollercoaster, and after Week 1 there’s no other reaction than being pumped as hell.
Darnold utterly dismantled the Giants in Minnesota’s 28-6 win. Did he throw an interception? Sure, but my man also completed 19-of-24 passing, finding eight different receivers, masterfully avoiding pass rushers in a purple suit of Teflon, and ostensibly doing everything that Kirk Cousins has done for the Vikings up to this point.
Don’t get me wrong: The Darnold ride always falls off the rails. Nobody in the league is better at getting hopes up and then destroying them than this modern-era Ryan Fitzpatrick, who will play for 20 years in the NFL and earn hope starts from teams around the league, only to let them down too.
For now, the Vikings can be thrilled they’re still in the great part of the Darnold experience. We’ll let them bask in this one a while longer.
Loser: Hope
It was a terrible, no-good, very bad day for mediocre teams in the NFL who just hoped to get better this season. Bryce Young and the Panthers played like wet farts in New Orleans, Bo Nix proved that preseason was fool’s gold, the new-era in Atlanta looks a lot like the old one, the Bengals still think it’s preseason, the Jaguars fumbled a game away, and sure, the Bears technically got the dub, all while Caleb Williams played like hot garbage, and the Giants, well… they have Daniel Jones.
There is nothing as exquisitely humbling as waiting for months to see your favorite team play with anticipation only to have every ounce of excitement drain from your body in three hours like you’ve been stuck in a room with an energy vampire. The NFL has gifted that us to us.
Some of these teams should really be able to bounce back. The Bengals aren’t as bad as they showed, the Jaguars can shore things up, and Atlanta can get on track. As for other teams in the league: It’s already looking like a long season.
Winner: Baker the dream maker
I’ll be the first to admit I thought the Baker Mayfield extension by Tampa Bay was a massive mistake. To me this was a guy who has been mediocre his entire career, had one amazing season under a hotshot offensive coordinator, and to pay him based on that with the offensive braintrust gone was a massive mistake.
How wrong I was.
Mayfield looks every bit like the same quarterback he ended 2023 as, and that’s a monumental boon to the Buccaneers. To be fair: Dismantling the Commanders is a little bit like being proud you can beat a toddler in arm wrestling, but it’s still significant. At no point did the game look too big for Mayfield, who was masterful throwing the ball and deserves every bit of praise.
Maybe keep an eye on the Buccaneers, because they could be a sneaky team this year.
Loser: Passing the football
We’ve never been in an era with this many good quarterbacks, while also being in an era where this many good quarterback can play poorly. There are at least 20 teams in the league right now who should be disappointed with their quarterback play, while defenses around the league are feasting.
Entering Sunday Night Football the league-average for passing yards in Week 1 was 185 yards. We had full game starters who couldn’t even manage to break 100 yards passing. Defense is back in a big way, baby — and it’s clear that most of the league can’t really handle it right now.
This will be a trend to watch as the season progresses.
Winner: The Saints, who went marching in
Another game which requires the “shitty opponent” caveat, there’s still a ton to like about this Saints team. Offensively they look completely rejuvenated under OC Klint Kubiak, whose masterful offensive play calling allowed Derek Carr to shine with efficiency.
I think we can look a little past the Panthers being terrible and see that there’s a nugget of something special here. New Orleans is far from a perfect team, but they’re hungry, opportunistic, and thriving on both sides of the ball.
Loser: The new NFL kickoff
Sorry, but I hate this thing. I’m very glad players are being kept safe, which is the entire goal of the rule change — but man, this is so boring. It’s bad when you’re pretty much rooting for a flag as the only way to ensure a team is pinned deep, otherwise you’re just locked watching four quarters of touchbacks.
I don’t think there’s any perfect way to handle kickoffs, but this ain’t it. It’s a shame we’re going to have to watch this all season long.
