American Football

Remember that time Wes Welker was allegedly high on molly at the Kentucky Derby?

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A trip down memory lane that Wes Welker can’t remember.

JP Acosta is a wonderful young football writer. Like, really young. So young he doesn’t know a lot of amazing moments from NFL past. James Dator, on the other hand, is an old man — and loves telling stories from the league’s past. Today we discuss the time in 2014 when an extremely-high Wes Welker handed out thousands of dollars at the Kentucky Derby.

James: JP, how old were you in 2014?

JP: On May 5, 2014 I was 13 years old.

James: Oh God… so you’ve probably never heard about the time Wes Welker was high on molly at the Kentucky Derby, right?

JP: Wes Welker was what? At WHERE?

James: Strap in young man — because this was wild. So, it’s 2014 and Welker is a pretty big deal at this point. He’s not really the top No. 1 threat he was in New England, but he’s bailed on the Patriots and is now playing in Denver with Peyton Manning. It was pretty much the ultimate football heel turn.

So the 2014 Derby comes along, and after the race the man is looking like the hottest mess. He’s in a linen suit, and a straw hat, and handing out $100 bills to EVERYONE around him

JP: Wow, this extended cut of The Hangover looks real weird. Did he just pull up with hundreds of dollars in cash on him or do you get that from the ATM at the Derby? I’ve never been to a horse race, let alone the Kentucky Derby so did he just show up with all of that or is that like the first stop upon entry?

James: Oh, it’s SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE! Wes won $50,000 betting on the race, so he picked up the cash at Churchill Downs. It’s here where it becomes amazing, because they later found out that he was paid out incorrectly and given an extra $15K by accident — and ordered him to pay it back. So Welker was either too high to realize he’d been overpaid, or just didn’t care, but all the money he handed out wasn’t supposed to be his.

JP: So he’s just casually walking around Churchill Downs giving out hundreds to randos in the stands? That sounds like philanthropy to me and the bookies were trying to stop a charity. Good on you, Wes.

James: That’s a fair way to look at it, but there was video floating around at the time that I can’t find — but dude was ON ONE. It was extremely clear he wasn’t acting like himself and was manic as hell. So it’s kind of like philanthropy, but if the person giving you money is racing around like a mouse caught in the light while also screaming a whole lot.

Also, he got suspended for amphetamines for this.

JP: Well I, too would be running around screaming if I won $50,000 betti—wait he was doing this on MOLLY? He made the bet on Molly?

James: We don’t know for sure, and I super don’t want to be sued by Wes Welker who is now the WR coach of the Dolphins — but it really seems that way. On September 2, 2014 — months after the Derby, Welker was suspended by the NFL for taking amphetamines, and Pro Football Talk said that he took molly at the race, which led to the suspension.

JP: So, according to Pro Football Talk, he took molly…at the race? That feels like a security issue if he can get molly into Churchill Downs.

James: I assume you don’t really get patted down all that well if you’re a white millionaire wearing a straw hat. The weird part is, the NFL didn’t even suspend him for taking molly at one of the biggest sporting events in the United States. They hit him because apparently the molly was cut with something on the banned substances list.

JP: That seems about par for the course with the NFL.

James: It was, but that era was different too. The biggest arguments we had online were about the color of a dress— not like, “Is it okay to murder people.” The internet was way more innocent back then.

Oh, by the way, Welker never gave the $15K back to Churchill Downs.

JP: Well yeah, it was given to the good people at Churchill Downs. Wes Welker, a man of the people.

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