Alabama fan threatens to set himself on fire, rip his own arm off if team hires Dabo Swinney

This is fine.

It’s a rough week for Alabama fans. Facing an era without Nick Saban, the biggest question in college football is “Who will coach the Tide next?” On Thursday a man named “Legend,” which I pray is his legal name, called into The Paul Finebaum Show to give his opinions on rumors that Dabo Swinney could leave Clemson and return to Tuscaloosa — and let’s just say he’s not thrilled with the idea.

“Greg Byrnes: If it’s Dabo Swinney I’m pouring gasoline on myself and setting myself on fire at the 50-yard line. You can guarantee it. If it’s Dabo Swinney I’m pulling my arm off and taking that contract fracture and beating the hell out of myself. NO DAMN DABO! Do you hear me, Greg Byrnes?!”

So, a couple of things before we jump into this. First, Greg Byrne is the director of athletics for the University of Alabama. There’s no ‘s’ on the end, Legend. Secondly sir, I think you may have confused a “compound fracture” in which the bone breaks the skin, with a “contract fracture” — which is nothing.

I’m going to give Legend a pass on all this, because the man is clearly very emotional. It’s been a rough week, and losing Saban to get a broken-down Swinney, who appears to have lost his magic would be a huge kick in the teeth.

Not that it’s worth setting yourself on fire or amputating your arm, but this is Alabama we’re talking about. Football is life.