American Football

Joe Burrow’s new haircut makes him the real Slim Shady

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We need to talk about Joe Burrow’s new haircut.

Cincinnati Bengals’ QB Joe Burrow is entering his fifth year in the NFL, and as the richest man in the league, he’s got a lot of different things to try. He and former LSU teammate Justin Jefferson walked the runway at Paris Fashion Week in June, but this feels a little bit more like a trip off the beaten path.

Guess who’s back pic.twitter.com/dwHy2zymH2

— Cincinnati Bengals (@Bengals) July 23, 2024

Umm…this is certainly a haircut that someone can get. Instead of completely going in on it, let’s just name the people Joe Burrow looks like:

Joe Burrow looks like he’s fighting Solo Sikoa for the Undisputed World Heavyweight Championship at Summerslam
Joe Burrow looks like he punches walls and drinks NOS energy drinks
Joe Burrow looks like he says slurs over the Call of Duty chat
Joe Burrow looks like a mid-tier UFC welterweight fighter
Joe Burrow looks like 2002 Eminem
Joe Burrow looks like his name is actually Kyle
Joe Burrow looks like someone who has spent too much time in Ohio
Joe Burrow looks like a low-level street criminal that Batman fights to get more details about The Penguin
Joe Burrow looks like a side character from Tokyo Revengers
Joe Burrow looks like he stepped out of a time capsule from 2004
Joe Burrow looks like Paul Walker on the set of 2 Fast 2 Furious

Whatever they did to Joe Burrow, I hope they never do it again.

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