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Kiké Hernández sharted

Hernández was far too willing to admit he pooped his pants during the 2020 NLDS.

We all have deep dark secrets that nobody could shake out of us, but not Kiké Hernández. Offering waaaay too much information he gleefully volunteered a story about pooping himself by accident during the NLDS in 2020.

We’re sorry we asked. pic.twitter.com/ZzZLKMTkGB

— Red Sox (@RedSox) March 2, 2023

You don’t extract this information from me if I was locked in a death trap in one of the Saw movies.

Now, far be it from me to try and make a taxonomy of pants pooping, but I think I’m solidly with Justin Turner on this one. I believe Hernández sharted, not a full on pants defilement — as he seems to indicate.

This does raise a really important public service announcement though. The reason Hernández’s antibiotics gave him trouble is that they disrupted his gut biome. It’s always good when getting any course of antibiotics to also have some probiotics on hand. They even come in gummy form, so it’s like eating candy. That way you can make sure whatever infection you’re fighting is getting obliterated, while the necessary bacteria in your intestines is nurtured.

Then you won’t have any pants explosions.

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