NFLPA report cards give Chiefs ownership an F-, roast Bengals’ terrible food, and more

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The 6 wildest things from the NFLPA’s team report cards

The NFLPA’s player survey going public is one of the best things to happen to football. It puts immense pressure on owners to offer working conditions their multi-million dollar athletes deserve. In recent years, the survey has led to improvements across the board to remove hazardous working conditions, improve player safety, and generally make the league a better place for players.

Now the 2024 scores have been released, and there’s a lot about this that might shock you.

Chiefs players hate the Chiefs organization

You know the saying “winning cures all”? Well, not in Kansas City. The Chiefs were ranked 31st in the league in player satisfaction, with only the Washington Commanders scoring lower.

Of particular note when it comes to the Chiefs is mammoth disconnect between the on-field football operations, and those off of it. Andy Reid was given an A+ by players, but everything was atrocious outside of that — particularly owner Clark Hunt, who was given an NFL-low rating of F-, which I didn’t even know was possible.

Hunt basically promised to make things better for players, then never delivered — and had the most pathetic excuse imaginable.

The Buccaneers aren’t the worst team, but they are the grossest and weirdest

Players say their sauna is routinely broken down and moldy, while also noting that the locker room smells bad and is rarely clean. On top of this, there are some truly cheapskate moves the team makes to nickel-and-dime players.

They have to pay $90 per child for childcare during games
Young players have to pay $1,750 if they want a separate room on road trips
Players sit at the back of the plane in smaller seats, while team employees get larger first-class seats

They’re not the only team to charge for this stuff, but they are the only team to hit players in every single area to get some extra money.

The Steelers hate just about everything except for the people

Something you’ll see a lot in the report card is that owners are cheap. Despite being billionaires they really don’t care about making facilities better for their employees. In Pittsburgh this is on a whole other level, because players hate EVERYTHING just about everything involving the organization — except the staff, particularly Mike Tomlin.

At best they’re middling, but everything else ranks near the bottom of the NFL.

Josh McDaniels sucks

I could end it here, but it’s nice to have some backup on the point. The former Raiders head coach was the only person in the league to receive a D rating. The majority of coaches were given in the As or Bs, but McDaniels was a special kind of dope.

The players gave former head coach Josh McDaniels the lowest head coaching score in the league
Only 39% of players feel that Josh McDaniels was efficient with their time (32nd overall)
He was also ranked least likely to listen to his locker room of any NFL head coach

Why anyone hires this man is beyond me.

The Bengals food manages to suck more than Cincinnati-style chili

There’s a lot bad about the Bengals report card, but the food really stands out. The team doesn’t employ a full-time dietician, something almost the entire league have. In addition they rank 30th in food taste, and 31st in food freshness.

The No. 1 team in the NFL is … the Miami Dolphins

The Dolphins and Vikings are in a class of their own when it comes to facilities and player satisfaction. Miami in particular have grades in the As across the board, with almost nothing being noted about what players want or desire. They have become the gold standard for the NFL and something everyone should reach for.