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Sean Payton just can’t be happy.
Coaches are normally happy after getting a much-needed win, but Sean Payton instead started having an existential crisis following Denver’s win. What followed on Monday was one of the most bizarre quotes we’ve ever heard from a football coach — ever.
It also involved sushi.
Sean Payton today: “That was a good win for us and yet I’m driving home last night, heading to get sushi – I don’t like sushi – and finding myself circling around the parking lot, “Why can’t I be happy?’ Well you’re searching for that perfect game. I’m just that way.” #9sports
— Mike Klis (@mikeklis) October 23, 2023
I don’t know that there’s really a correct way to react to this. It’s a seriously weird way to address the media after a win. The only thing that’s apparent is that if Payton is driving around a parking lot wondering if he should get sushi while questioning whether he can ever be happy — dude, maybe get a therapist.
There was more.
There was a follow up. Payton: “I’m a good team player here. My wife likes it, my kids like it. Everyone in the party likes it. So I’m a team player. The nice thing is it was the first time we were going out to celebrate at home after a win at home. So that was good.’’ https://t.co/KUBgWTiqEu
— Mike Klis (@mikeklis) October 23, 2023
It’s really cool of Sean to go out for sushi even if it’s not his jam, but my man — they have other things at most sushi restaurants. The odds of finding a true, dedicated sushi restaurant in Denver with NOTHING else on the menu is pretty slim. Get yourself some yakisoba, find a place that has a good ramen too.
I want to help Sean Payton, because he’s clearly a man in crisis. I can’t help with the crippling existential crisis — that’s for a therapist. I can at least assist with these sushi woes. Our friends at Eater have a list of the 15 best sushi restaurants in Denver, and a great option for the family is Bamboo Sushi. Their menu looks incredible, and here are just a few good options for Payton that don’t involve eating traditional sushi.
C’mon Sean. Even if sushi doesn’t bring you happiness surely a good ribeye or a wagyu burger will. Personally, I’ve got my eye on that spicy seaweed fried rice or the chili garlic chicken, but you do you my man.
I just want you to be happy.
