Ted Lasso’s ‘We’ll never have Paris’ is a masterpiece in closure

When does a relationship need to end, and how do we move on?

Richmond is on a win streak. Everyone is raving about the Greyhounds’ run using “Total Football,” and how overjoyed Ted Lasso must be at his team’s results. Then we cut to an all too familiar scene: Ted, locked deep in depression, having to feign happiness across from his ex-wife and her new lover.

This has always been the way for Ted. The “fish out of water” premise on which Ted Lasso is based, extends to his disjointed emotional rollercoaster. When everyone around him are at their happiest, Ted is his most miserable — and vice versa. He subconsciously craves sadness around him, because when others’ are mired in their own woes it serves as a shield to deflect from Ted’s personal life. It’s perfect, because he gets to put on his saccharine-sweet exterior, while also feeling like he’s filling his duty as coach and mentor.

“We’ll never have Paris” is a sprawling treatise on relationships — romantic, platonic, and those moving in between these phases.

Keeley and Jack

This is the most heartbreaking storyline inside of “We’ll Never Have Paris.” Keeley and Jack’s’ relationship has had the same growing pains all new relationships do, with the pair feeling each other out and trying to assert what they do and don’t like (such as Keeley not appreciating Jack’s “love bombs”). However, in classic Ted Lasso fashion, true joy doesn’t last very long. While the couple lovingly snuggle and plan to visit Jack’s “uncle,” with Keeley’s importance growing past a fling for Jack, suddenly it’s all interrupted by endless phone notifications.

There’s been a hack, compromising the private data of numerous celebrities. As a result, Keeley has been the victim of revenge porn — with a self-recorded sex tape being uploaded on the internet.

Curled up next to the bed, distraught at the embarrassment and damage, all Keeley needs is an embrace. Jack stops short, but in calculating foreshadowing tells her “I’ll handle it.”

We later learn that Jack’s idea of “handling” the problem entails penning a stock PR apology for Keeley to post, accepting blame for the sex tape. The look of disappointment on Keeley’s face is heartbreaking. She expected Jack’s solution would be to use her vast resources to find the perpetrator, not blame the victim — choking back tears as she reads the line “I’ll use the opportunity to learn and grow.”

It’s another in a long line of romantic betrayals. Jamie constantly had his gaze elsewhere, Roy broke up with Keeley the moment she became independent, and now Jack is infantilizing Keeley, wanting her to be remorseful with a child-like apology when she did nothing wrong.

Ever the sounding board, Rebecca sets Keeley straight — saying just what she needed to hear: No, she did nothing wrong. No, she shouldn’t read the gross, stock apology letter. Yes, her lack of remorse is valid and she shouldn’t be ashamed just for being privately sexual in a relationship.

Then comes Roy, in one of the most disappointing moments of his entire character arc. Seeing Keeley leaving Nelson Road he opens with what appears to be a sincere apology, before becoming cold and self-centered, asking who the video was sent to. Keeley lightly laughs to herself getting in her car, with the realization that Roy never really cared about her in the situation and the whole apology was perfunctory.

Jack, victim blaming to the end, continues to chide Keeley for the video — and when she’s met with the slightest bit of resistance she puts on her shoes and walks out the door, leaving someone she supposedly loves at their most vulnerable.

The next morning the doorbell rings. Keeley is hopeful it’s Jack, returned to apologize, but instead it’s Jamie. We knew from the jump that the video was sent to Jamie, as it opened with Keeley making a reference to sending it to someone in Newcastle, where we know Jamie is from. Even as hilarious as it is that Jamie was hacked due to his password being “password,” he offers something nobody else does: A genuine, real apology that ascribes no blame to Keeley or pries for more information.

Ted and Michelle

Ted is at his weakest in this episode. Consumed by the belief that Dr. Jacob is going to propose to his ex-wife in Paris, Ted is so obsessed with finding out that he enlists Rebecca’s aide to use a private detective to spy on the couple.

Paris is especially poignant, as Ted explains he and Michelle always planned to go to Paris as a couple, but work and finances always got in the way. It’s her favorite city, and they ran out of time to live their dream.

When Rebecca messages Ted and informs him she has news he jumps out of his seat, running to call the boss and learn if his worst fears have been realized. Instead of telling Ted what happened in Paris, Rebecca gives him far more sage advice: “Stop letting yesterday get in the way of today.” Give up on this pursuit of what Michelle is doing and live for Henry, spend time with his son, keep the relationship intact that truly matters in this situation.

Ted runs back to the table, hugs Henry and begins singing “Hey Jude” with Coach Beard and his son. A song about turning the page, being resilient through a crumbling relationship, and coming out the other side.

There’s one last moment that Ted gives into his base urges. Michelle picks up Henry and he awkwardly wrestles with Michelle over their son’s backpack as Ted tries to see if there’s an engagement ring on her finger. Finally he lets go, realizing there’s no ring — keeping the embers alive. We leave Ted ambiguously. Is he finally ready to let go, or does he still believe against all logic that somehow he and Michelle will return to each other?

It’s not healthy for Ted to keep thinking like this, but alone in his apartment nobody is there to stop him.

Nate and Ted

The final story of letting go is the pseudo paternal relationship between Ted and Nate. It serves as a beautiful juxtaposition for the other two love stories in “We’ll Never Have Paris.” It’s also the one given the least screen time.

In this story we see the burgeoning relationship between Nate and Jade. However it’s not new romance Nate is obsessed with, but rather Ted. He closely monitors every news report about Richmond’s winning streak. He attempts to assemble his own pathetic version of “The Diamond Dogs” to get advice about Jade, but “The Love Hounds” are a sad facsimile.

When Henry tells Ted he wants to see a soccer game and the only one is West Ham, it pushes Nate over the edge. Deep down he knows there’s no affront by Ted seeing him play, and yet he still continues to take everything as a personal slight. Time and time again we see Nate desperate to be like his mentor in Ted, but conflicted as he also wants to assert himself as his own man — which he believes means being a horrible bastard like Rupert.

Just as we open the episode with Ted staring blankly, so too Nate is glued to the screen of his laptop after the win — reading a story about how Ted was in attendance. Jade pours the two a glass of wine and finally snaps him out of it, telling Nate he “needs to enjoy his victories,” something Ted never can. Calling Nate her boyfriend, Nate finally closes his laptop realizing that like Rebecca’s words to Ted, he needs to live for the moment and not the past.

Time will tell if this will last, or if Nate will get dragged back into his obsession with his former boss, much like Ted can’t let go of Michelle.