This gross, grey stadium glizzy looks like a goblin’s gnarled toe

This is not okay.

We’ve broadly covered British stadium food here at SB Nation.com thanks to the fine, dedicated folks at @FootyScran on Twitter — but today’s submission from Fulham might be one of the worst we’ve ever seen.

You can’t actually work out what this is by visuals alone. One can only intuit what this hot dog is supposed to be. Purely on looks this is clearly a goblin’s long, kangaroo-like toe which has been grilled on one of those outdoor stoves that reflects sunlight to mildly warm the meat to an uncomfortable temperature — then covered in caramel and mystery goo.

This is a toe.

The best I can assume is that this is mustard, which makes sense. It’s the apparent sour cream that really pushes this over the edge. I’ve seen sour cream on a dog before, and it can be good in a spicy application — but never with mustard as well. This is a condiment mess and I can’t handle it.

We have to save the British from these stadium abominations.