NBA nicknames deserved their own Hall of Fame so we made one

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The 25 best NBA nicknames, with a whole lot of honorable mentions

If you’re an NBA nerd like us, then you’ve probably spent a fair amount of time poking around on Basketball-Reference. It’s the premier site for NBA nerdery – need basic stats? Head to B-Ref. Need advanced stats? There’s a B-Ref for that. Want to see a player’s G League, college, and international stats? B-Ref. Curious about their salary history, draft position, high school, name pronunciation, age, relatives, and award shares? Head to B-Ref.

And so on and so forth.

But in a vast ocean that is objective information, Basketball-Reference has also provided a space for something more artistic: nicknames. The B-Ref nicknames have become a thing of NBA Twitter lore. About half of players have a listed nickname, and usually more than one. All the well-known ones exist, like “King James” for LeBron James, and “The Beard” for James Harden. There are the shockingly simple ones, like “KCP” for Kentavious Caldwell-Pope and “Trez” for Montrezl Harrell. Some of the nicknames are even just the name that the player goes by, such as “Juancho” for Juancho Hernangómez (real name “Juan”), and “Bam” for Bam Adebayo (real name “Edrice”).

The real joy, however, lies in the weirdness. The clever nicknames, like Lauri Markkanen, born in Vantaa, Finland, being nicknamed, “The Finnisher.” The odd family nicknames, like Malcolm Brogdon, listed as “Humble Moses.” The head-scratchers, like Khris Middleton’s nickname, “Baby Joe Johnson.” And the combination of bizarre nicknames that you know are never used, such as Mikal Bridges, who has the following six names listed: “Inspector Go-Go Gadget,” “The Warden,” “Noodles,” “String Bean,” “Brittle,” and “Praying Mantis.”

And then there’s one of my personal favorites: Nic Claxton, nicknamed “The Slim Reaper,” while his much more famous teammate, Kevin Durant, rocks the very well known nickname of … “Slim Reaper.” What a difference a word makes.

To honor this great intersection of NBA obsession and being chronically online, I looked through the Basketball-Reference page of every active player in the league, with a simple goal: find the 25 best nicknames, and rank them.

But before I do that, let’s take a look at some great nicknames I found along the way that fit into a few fun buckets.

The shot blockers

Mitchell Robinson – Block Ness Monster
Chris Boucher – Swatterboy
Serge Ibaka – Iblaka
Nerlens Noel – The Nerlen Wall
Rudy Gobert – The Stifle Tower & The French Rejection
Ivica Zubac – Zublocka & Zu-Block
Jaren Jackson Jr. – Block Panther

Nicknaming shot-blocking artists is a time-honored tradition in the NBA, popularized by broadcasters the world over. These ones are very good, and also take us to a bunch of different places in Europe.

Inaccurate portrayals of greatness

Yuta Watanabe – The Chosen One
Furkan Korkmaz – Goatmaz
Alex Caruso – GOAT
Tyler Herro – Baby GOAT
Kristaps Porziņģis – Godzingis & Porzingod
Aaron Gordon – Air Gordon
Eric Gordon – Air Gordon

None of these players are the GOAT, none of them are a god, none of them are the chosen one, and, above all else, none of them are Michael Jordan.

Speaking of which…

Very bad comparisons

Thaddeus Young – Thagic Johnson
Caris LeVert – Baby Durant
Kostas Antetokounmpo – Greek Freak 2.0
Lauri Markkanen – Lauri Bird & Lauri Legend
Ivica Zubac – Zu Alcindor
Kevin Huerter – Red Mamba
Andrew Wiggins – Junior Jordan

Shoutout to Markkanen, who managed to have two different nicknames comparing him to Larry Bird. I know he’s having a great season but, uhh…

Also, thoughts and prayers to Antetokounmpo. It’s bad enough to be compared to a Hall of Famer that is miles ahead of you. It’s worse when that player is your brother.

The nickname leader

Luka Dončić leads all active players with 10 different nicknames. They are:

The Matador
El Matador
Cool Hand
The Don
Wonder Boy
El Niño Maravilla
Swaggy L
Luka Legend
Too Easy
Luka Magic

Props to him for drawing comparisons to both Larry Bird and Magic Johnson. Unlike the players in the previous section, those names are very much deserved.

Inadvertently sexual

Robert Williams – Boo Butt
Payton Pritchard – Fast PP
Isaiah Joe – Strokin’ Joe

I say “inadvertently,” but … I dunno. You be the judge.

Rappers

Markieff Morris – Snoop Dogg
Nikola Vučević – Vucci Mane
Bradley Beal – Dr. Dre
DeAndre Jordan – DeAndre 3000
John Wall – Tupac
Ivica Zubac – Zupac
Kendrick Nunn – Kung Fu Kenny

These are very famous people who all have nicknames that are just the names of even more famous people,

Dad joke-level wordplay

Royce O’Neale – Big Meal
Shake Milton – Protein Shake
Darius Garland – DG the PG
Rudy Gay – The Great Rudini
Cameron Payne – The Campaign

These would all be clever if they actually meant anything. “Big Meal Royce O’Neale” is a fun thing to say and means nothing. Is there literally any reason for calling Milton a “Protein Shake” if that weren’t his name? “DG the PG” is accurate, and also a nickname you give a second-grader. Does Gay resemble a magician in any way, shape, or form? And Payne’s nickname is just his literal name, but in noun form.

No one would ever say these names

Jayson Tatum – Taco Jay
Joel Embiid – Do-a-180
Brandon Ingram – Tiny Dog
Herbert Jones – Not on Herb
JaVale McGee – Big Daddy Wookie
Chris Paul – The Skate Instructor

Imagine if one of these players looked you in the eye and told you that was their name.

Canada

RJ Barrett – Maple Mamba
Andrew Wiggins – Maple Jordan

They sure do love their maple syrup, don’t they.

Now, onto the top 25 nicknames.

25. Jakob Poeltl – Jake Puddle

As a general rule, I’m staunchly against making fun of people’s actual names just because they’re from a different culture or hard for someone to pronounce. But that’s not what this nickname is. It’s just someone taking someone’s name and simplifying it into a monosyllabic first name followed by a basic noun. It’s something an eight year old would do. It’s something an eight year old would do when naming their dog or imaginary friend.

24. Klay Thompson – Big Smokey

Asked about this nickname, which came from his fellow Warriors players, Thompson’s then-teammate Andrew Bogut said it meant “dark horse” in Australia. What a coincidence that it was applied to someone who was arrested in college for marijuana possession and who you know lights it up on weekends while playing Super Smash Bros. What a crazy coincidence.

23. Doug McDermott – Dougie McBuckets

McDermott might be the whitest player in modern NBA history, and he definitely has the whitest nickname. This name is 100% stolen from a Disney Channel movie about an underdog hooper played by a pre-pubescent Zac Efron.

22. John Wall – Optimus Dime

Is it corny? Yes. Would it get old the fourth time that a broadcaster excitedly yelled it after a slick transition assist? Yes. But is it a really great nickname for a point guard? Also yes.

21. Naz Reid – Big Jelly

This is roughly 20% of Reid’s entire Wikipedia page:

During his high school career he was a member of the Jelly Fam, an internet movement focused around wild finger roll layups. Nicknamed “Big Jelly”, he was known for playing like a big and flashy guard. He was the only member of the movement to make it to the NBA.

20. Bobby Portis – Crazy Eyes

Well … if the shoe fits.

19. Dario Šarić – Super Dario

This one required very little creativity to think up, but in this house we applaud Nintendo references.

18. Rudy Gobert – The Gobert Report

Shoutout to Beau Estes, the incomparable rhyming MC of the NBA.com Top 10 videos. I believe he came up with this one (if he didn’t, then he certainly popularized it), and while no one else can pull off saying it, it’s perfect when Beau does.

17. Andre Drummond – Big Penguin

In an effort to provide insight into these nicknames, I googled the ones I didn’t know. The first hit when you google “Andre Drummond big penguin” is an article titled, “Andre Drummond doesn’t know why he’s called Big Penguin.”

Phenomenal.

16. Kyle Lowry – KLOE

This is the most capital-O Online of all the B-Ref nicknames, an initialism that’s been floating on the internet for more than a decade, ever since NBA writer Zach Harper coined it during a live chat. It stands for Kyle Lowry Over Everyone, and doubt it at your own peril.

15. Nikola Jokić – Cookie Monster

Jokić was the one who publicly gave himself this nickname, after then-teammate Mike Miller gave it to him behind the scenes. It’s apparently a reference to the way he accumulates steals, but knowing his jovial and goofy nature, I feel confident guessing that he eats cookies like Cookie Monster, too.

14. Luguentz Dort – Dorture Chamber

Dort also has a second nickname that deserves mention: Dortress. Pretty cool names for a quality defender.

13. Reggie Jackson – Mr. June

The only time that Jackson has played basketball games in June came during the belated 2020-21 NBA season that ran more than a month over the regular schedule.

12. Mason Plumlee – Plumdog Millionaire

Is Plumlee at all similar to the 2009 Academy Award winner for best picture? Not that I’m aware of. But it’s just enough of a wordplay stretch that I love it nonetheless.

11. Isaiah Stewart – Beef Stew

Of the 25 nicknames on this list, this is the one that you’re actually likely to hear if you turn on a game. Unlike most NBA nicknames, hearing broadcasters regularly refer to Stewart – an old-school bruiser of a center – as “Beef Stew” doesn’t dilute the nickname at all. It’s just a perfect nickname.

10. Matthew Dellavedova – Outback Jesus

I would like to request that Dellavedova put that time spent sitting on the Kings bench to use and grow out his hair to better fit this nickname. Until then, this hilarious name for the Australian guard is only good enough for No. 10.

9. Brook Lopez – Bropez

This is the simplest nickname imaginable, as it’s merely a portmanteau of one person’s own two names. And adding “bro” to the start of a name that begins with an “oh” sound is a game older than the sport of basketball itself. So why does this name rank so high? Because Lopez is an ultra-chill 7-foot-1 Disney adult who once moved out of a house he shared with his twin brother Robin because their cats didn’t get along. He is the epitome of a Bropez.

8. Luke Kennard – Duck

Kennard’s last name is very similar in sound to the French word for “duck,” but that doesn’t make the nickname any less funny. Just a random, small animal. A cursory google search shows you that no one at all is talking about Kennard’s nickname, save for one Reddit user who hypothesizes that he got the name due to having corkscrew genitalia. Say it ain’t so, duck.

7. Drew Eubanks – The Shaq of Troutdale

Troutdale, where Eubanks played his high school basketball, is a city of 16,000 people in rural Oregon where, I can guarantee you, no one has ever referred to Eubanks as “the Shaq of.”

Sincerely, Brady “The Zach Lowe of Gualala” Klopfer

6. Austin Reaves – Hillbilly Kobe

Leave it to Lakers fans.

5. Jose Alvarado – Grand Theft Alvarado

Alvarado has the fourth-highest steal rate in the NBA, and has become known for his sneaky thefts. Sorry, Super Dario … this is the best video game nickname in the association.

4. Joe Harris – Beef Jerky Joe

It’s not entirely clear where this nickname came from, but we’re not here to argue with brilliance. Sometimes a name comes along that is so perfect you can’t help but just admire it. Beef Jerky Joe. Maybe he’s a meat lover. Maybe he’s a used car salesman. Maybe he’s a regional circuit professional wrestler. Maybe he’s one of the best shooters in the NBA. Who can say.

3. Monte Morris – Count of Monte Assist/TO

I cackled for about two minutes straight when I read this one. This nickname is a perfect case of when trying too hard ends up being the perfect amount. It’s doing so much. You could never in a million years say it out loud. It’s so close to just not working. And instead, it’s brilliance. Pure, unadulterated brilliance.

2. Evan Fournier – Don’t Google

We love a nickname that doubles as a public service announcement. It’s also the second-most online nickname, right behind KLOE. Fournier has the great misfortune of sharing a name with a life-threatening bacteria found on a protruding part of the body that you really don’t want to see when you google things. So don’t google his name, folks. And if you do, please remember to add the first name.

1. Kyrie Irving – World B. Flat

Before he was spewing dangerous conspiracy theories and saying actively harmful and problematic things, Irving was just your neighborhood flat earther with a flashy basketball game that was reminiscent of the great World B. Free.

And thus was born the greatest nickname in Basketball-Reference history.