What the heck is Jerry talking about?
It’s been one heck of a week for Jerry Jones. The Cowboys’ owner had himself a day on Monday during Brian Schottenheimer’s introductory press conference when he began talking about “Schotty Shots” and noting that he got his hiring advice from Steve Spurrier — now he’s out here talking about glory holes for some reason.
When asked about the somber reaction of Cowboys fans to the Schottenheimer hire and this era of Cowboys football Jerry said:
“There’s a very low percentage of this that is smiles and glory holes. Very low percentage.”
There’s a whole lot to unpack here. Firstly, this is among the strangest sentences I’ve ever read in my life. I don’t think anyone in the history of the english language has used the term “smiles and glory holes,” as if they’re comparative items by which you can evaluate another thing.
Is the general idea here that smiling is happy and a glory hole is … exciting? If that’s the case I’ll need to take Jerry’s word on the general exhilaration of a glory hole. Are we talking some sort of curated glory hole, or one in a truck stop bathroom?
At least with a glory hole there’s an expectation of finishing — something the Cowboys have struggled with for 30 years.
