LaMelo Ball’s $1M+ watch lives in a pineapple under the sea

Would you buy this watch, or a house?

Oh! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? LAMELO BALL’S NEW WATCH!

LaMelo Ball enjoying his offseason in Europe, spending time visiting AC Milan and buying the ugliest custom watch the world has ever seen. This one-of-one (thank God) Audemars Piguet custom watch is like a sea urchin decked itself out in bling and decided to attach itself to a timepiece that was lost on a shipwreck.

Not only is the chronograph watch spiky, but it has a custom “Melo” on the face and holographic elements on the dial. I don’t really have anything nice to say about this monstrosity, because it looks like a wristborne virus cosplaying as Auric Goldfinger.

Based on the price of limited edition AP watches it’s safe to say this cost over $2M. Even basic 1-of-15 watches fetch over $1.2M and they aren’t nearly as complicated as this. Dan Flashes has taught us that things are more expensive if they’re more complicated — and this watch is REALLY complicated.

Look, if this watch makes Melo happy, then more power to him — I just wouldn’t want something on my wrist that could piece my jugular if I forgot it was there and went to fix my hair or something.