KING LARGE!
There have been some truly legendary names when it comes to athletes, but nobody has a more perfect name to play on an offensive line than King Large.
King Large, who must always be referred to by his full name, committed to SMU on Wednesday night. As much as King Large is the perfect name for King Large, it might be just a tad bit presumptuous right now. Currently King Large is 6’4’ 295 pounds, which is certainly worthy of Prince Large status, but we all know that in order to be King Large you have to be well over 300 pounds.
By comparison, the other large king in sports we’re aware of is King Hippo from 1987’s Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! and the measurables on King Hippo were truly worthy of the “king” title.
Dude was so big that they didn’t even bother to put him on the scales, or at least they couldn’t find a set of scales capable of weighing King Hippo.
I mention this as an aspirational goal for King Large. Become the giant hero you were destined to become. We all believe in you.
