Everything about ChiefsAholic’s lawyer is perfect.
Those following the journey of Chiefs superfan ‘ChiefsAholic’ has been in for one hell of a ride over the last eight months. Back in December we learned that he allegedly robbed a bank on the way to Kansas City’s game against the Texans, then he was arrested in July after spending much of 2023 on the lam, landing on the FBI’s most wanted list before being arrested in California.
Now it’s time for his day in court, and you truly aren’t ready for the lawyer he lined up.
This is some serious Bob Loblaw stuff. There’s something kind of beautiful about having the task of representing someone on the FBI most wanted list and still having time to throw as many football puns as you can into your interview on the steps of the courthouse.
I had to learn more about this marvelous man. A quick search took me to his website, which included the most fascinating, tantalizing line I’ve ever read about a lawyer.
“Matthew is a diehard Royals fan, ardent road tripper, and amateur folk artist.”
I have never needed anything more in my life than to see the folk art of ChiefsAholic’s lawyer. It’s this innate, burning desire that I can’t satiate. I tried looking on his Instagram, nothing — his Facebook, still nothing. There’s nothing on Google to help me out. There is absolutely none of this man’s art on the internet, and yet I still believe it’s the most incredible creation known to man.
So Matthew, if you’re reading this, please help me start my personal first drive on the 45-yard line. Before my final whistle blows on this life let me see your art. I know it’s incredible, and you need to share it with the world.
