Joe Burrow and the Bengals are a joke, and coaches are to blame

Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports

Please just let him sit and heal.

There’s been a lot of unpredictability early this season, but nothing as profound as the meltdown in Cincinnati. The Bengals fell to 1-3 on the year after a 27-3 blowout loss to the Titans, and claimed sole possession of last in the AFC North.

It’s a spectacular fall from grace for a team pegged not only to win their division, but once again push deep into the postseason — and it comes off the back of Joe Burrow signing a massive contract extension that solidifies him as the face of the franchise for the next five years, more likely the next decade. Nothing that’s transpired is Burrows’ fault, but rather a coaching staff making decisions out of fear, causing the downward spiral to keep going faster.

We’ve become accustomed to Burrow lighting up the league, so it’s spectacularly sad to see him set one of the worst records for a quarterback in NFL history.

Burrow is broken. It’s painfully obvious for anyone who has watched the Bengals play this season. He missed the entire preseason with a calf injury, leading to a “will he or won’t he?” to start the regular season, and it’s been downhill from there. The absurdity of what’s happening in Cincinnati is a coaching staff that doesn’t seem willing to make any adjustments at all to take the heat off Burrow. Instead they seem happy to let the team’s star QB absorb the heat and take it away from their seats.

Let’s break it down even further: Burrow can’t play right now. The man cannot drive a football downfield because of the injury to his plant leg, which is destroying his ability to put anything on the ball.

If we compare the core elements to Burrow’s game from 2022 to now we see just how profound the problem is.

Everything about this comparison shows that the Bengals are doing functionally nothing to change their passing offense, but Burrow is physically unable to execute on it. What began as a physical problem is starting to manifest itself mentally, as Burrow is increasingly taking short reads and settling for modest gains — because he doesn’t trust his ability to throw the ball downfield.

The disparity between intended air yards and completed air yards tells the story here. So the question remains: Why the hell isn’t the coaching staff doing something? The path forward is painful, but obvious — they need to bench Burrow until his calf is healed. We know the young QB is a competitor who feels the need to be out there, but continuing to have him played injured damages the greatest asset the Bengals have.

Ja’Marr Chase is beyond frustrated with the offensive woes in Cincinnati, and it goes far beyond the three second soundbyte that’s been circulating.

Teams have the blueprint defensively to destroy the Bengals. All they have to do is send massive amounts of blitz pressure at Burrow, knowing he can’t drive the ball downfield with velocity — and from there it’s easy. There’s nothing functionally different about his time-to-throw from 2022 to 2023 (2.55s vs. 2.44), he just can’t escape pressure.

The term “escaping” pressure isn’t entirely accurate. It’s more about the different ways quarterbacks manage pressure in order to find a way to win a down. Patrick Mahomes does it through managing the pocket, escaping out when needed, and throwing off platform. Josh Allen climbs the pocket, and is willing to take off with his legs when an ideal pass isn’t open. Lamar Jackson uses his unnatural speed and athleticism to beat pressure for big gains.

Burrow deals with pressure through toughness and ludicrous processing speed. The Bengals offensive line has been a problem since he was drafted, but he’s always mitigated the damage a pass rush can do by zipping the ball into tight, aggressive windows because he trusts his receivers, while not being afraid to take a hit in the process. He still has that element to the game, it’s not gone, but it’s clear he doesn’t trust his body to be able to hit those windows right now.

When you can’t beat the blitz with your arm it incentivizes teams to send the house until you can. That’s where coaching is failing Burrow.

There are things that Zac Taylor and Brian Callahan could be doing to help. They could use more in-line tight ends to help with blocking. A dedicated blocking back to pick up a blitzer. These are very old football concepts, but as it stands they seem content watching Burrow smash his head into a wall every down because he can’t run the offense as it stands.

A one-legged Joe Burrow is still better than putting in Jake Browning, but not by much — and it increases the risk of something going really wrong for their QB beyond a lingering calf injury. If this coaching staff isn’t willing to help their star player out of fear for their jobs then an adult in the organization has to step in and shut this down. The risk is becoming too great for the long-term future of one of the NFL’s brightest young quarterbacks.

Winner: Zach Wilson

I’ve taken enough shots at Wilson over his time in the NFL that he deserves props when he does something well. I’m going to stop short of saying his Sunday Night Football performance is a sign he’s “getting it,” because there’s a hell of a hole to dig out of, but I’m far more impressed with what Wilson did off the field than on it.

He accepted blame.

Sure, it’s not entirely fair to beat himself up for the game-sealing fumble which stopped the Jets’ final drive, but a good quarterback understands when it’s time to step up and be the sacrificial lamb.

Against a surprisingly stout Chiefs’ pass defense this year the Jets’ QB did everything right. It could be a sign of good things to come, or he’ll regress back to old patterns — but on this week he was an absolute champion.

Loser: People getting way too worked up over this Taylor Swift thing

If you’re really, truly angry about the level of coverage that Taylor Swift is getting then you need to calm down. I get that Taylor might not be your cup of tea, but give me a break about the pearl clutching over how many times she’s shown on TV, or whether or not the NFL changed its Twitter bio to shout her out.

This is a really big deal. One of the largest music stars on the planet is regularly attending games and making the NFL cool for an entirely new group of people who don’t normally care for football. It’s not like this is going to last forever, because Swift begins the international leg of her “Eras” tour on November 9.

It’s a break for her, she’s having fun, and it’s neat to see this crossover. Just chill getting so damn angry about everything.

Winner: The Seahawks’ defense

You sack anyone 11 times and you’re getting a shout out. I’m not going to pretend the Giants have some incredible, world-beating offensive line — but still, it’s ELEVEN SACKS.

Daniel Jones was on ice skates all night and got sacked more often than any QB ever should be. It was sad and hilarious at the same time, like watching Mr. Bean.

I still don’t really know if the Seahawks are a good team or not, but this defense sure is fun.