What did Germany do to deserve Giants vs. Panthers?
The NFL’s quest for global domination is in full force as Roger Goodell continues his plan to spread the game to the four corners of the earth. Okay, well, it’s mostly Europe and then one game in South America — BUT THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE EARTH!
It’s the league’s most overt goal to put the NFL on the world stage to try and compete with soccer for global attention, and while that will never really happen, at the very least the NFL International Series has shown that there really are people in other countries who love watching our beautiful, violent game.
The problem: For the most part we’ve sent absolute garbage abroad. Let’s now dive into the 2024 slate and see how these games stack up, ranking them from the worst to the best.
No. 5: New York Giants vs. Carolina Panthers, Nov. 10 in Munich, Germany
What did Germany do to deserve this? They get one international game this year and we’re exporting two of the worst teams in the league. Even if you’re a die-hard fan of either of these franchises you know this is going to suck out loud.
The only piece of intrigue here is seeing Brian Burns play against his former team after the Panthers traded him to New York prior to the draft. Otherwise these are two franchises in various phases of rebuilding.
Who are the Giants in 2024? I don’t think they even know. This team couldn’t find a franchise QB in the draft, so they’re running it back with Daniel Jones. Saquon Barkley left via free agency, so the run game is worse. Their receivers are an interesting group, except every single one of them is a slot.
Meanwhile Carolina has actually had a pretty great offseason as they look to desperately turn things around under first-year head coach Dave Canales. The hope here is that Canales can do for Bryce Young what he did in Tampa Bay as offensive coordinator for Baker Mayfield. Still, this is going to be a process and you don’t flip from the worst team in the NFL to a contender overnight.
Even if just one of these teams ends up being good this game is going to be absolute ass. At least there will be beer,
No. 4: New England Patriots vs. Jacksonville Jaguars, Oct. 20 in London, England
There’s at least a little big of intrigue here to make this slightly more watchable than the Munich game … but not a lot.
The Patriots have a big following internationally because they’re still seen as “Tom Brady’s team.” It’s a little like how the Chicago Bulls have had fans all over the world for decades because of Michael Jordan. Drake Maye saves New England from being completely unwatchable as the team is rebuilding, and at the very least there’s some gunslinging fun to be had.
Meanwhile the Jaguars, oh my sweet summer children. Another year of hope springing eternal while it feels like we’re destined for another “Jags disappoint their fans” kind of year. None of the rumored earth-shattering trades went down, so this is a slightly improved team over a year ago, which means they’ll be slightly better than middling.
When the dust settles I just don’t think this is going to be a very fun game to watch.
No. 3: Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Chicago Bears, Oct. 13 in London, England
Yes, you read that correctly — the Jaguars are in London two weeks in a row.
The first of their two matchups is decidedly more interesting, largely because of Caleb Williams and the new-look Bears offense. Jacksonville boasts a strong defense, particularly on the pass rush despite all their other faults, and it’s going to be fun to see how Williams is able to escape pressure and make plays to his ludicrous host of weapons.
Everything about the Jags more or less has been said, but in this game we could see a more explosive offensive matchup which makes for exciting football. Make no mistake: Jacksonville wins this one, but it’s going to be really fun to see Williams and Trevor Lawrence do their thing.
No. 2: New York Jets vs. Minnesota Vikings, Oct. 6 in London England
This game could be an absolute banging if Aaron Rodgers doesn’t suffer another season-ending injury beforehand.
There are lots of layers of drama to this game. We’ve got the longstanding “Rodgers vs. Minnesota” angle, the first part of J.J. McCarthy’s NFL career, and to cap it all off it’ll be Justin Jefferson vs. Sauce Gardner on the outside — which will warrant its own dedicated camera angle.
For both teams I think this is a case of regressing to the mean. I don’t think the Jets are nearly as dominant as they’re credited with, even with Aaron Rodgers — and I don’t think the Vikings without Kirk Cousins are quite as cooked in Year 1 as people think. That means that both these teams should be pretty dang good, and it’ll make for a fun game.
No. 1: Green Bay Packers vs. Philadelphia Eagles, Sept. 6 in São Paulo, Brazil
The NFL’s first trip to Brazil is an absolute banger to kick off the year. We have two legitimate NFC playoffs teams, both of whom figure to be in the mix at the end — and there’s a lot on the line when it comes to tone setting for the season.
Jordan Love is a megastar in the making and attacking the Eagles defense will be incredibly fun to watch. Especially now Josh Jacobs is in Green Bay they’ll be a more diverse offense that could really cause a lot of problems for Philadelphia.
Then on the other side of the ball we have the Eagles, now with Saquon Barkley — and they’re still the most infuriatingly talented team in the NFL. I say “infuriating” because on paper they should be molly whopping 90 percent of the league — but keep playing down to their opponents’ level and giving them a chance.
Everything about this screams that it’s going to be a hell of a game.
